A bikini

I’m not sure what I’ve become. I am healing that’s what’s going on.

I’ve learned it’s okay to be this free, now I am starting to believe it.

My first initial reaction seeing this on was, “oh my goodness I look terrible”, then I reminded myself my 16 year old son was getting disappointed in the local Wal-Mart that they didn’t have swimsuit for me (his first time traveling at an age old enough to understand how a tourist town works 😂, he loves tourism by the way).

They were about to close, I finally found bottoms. But tops?

Um do you see what I was left with. He found it. And I was like, “um Joe I’m not sure I’ll look good in that. He’s silent for a moment, (just like his dad not because they are thinking of the right answer, but because they need a moment to process their own feelings) says to me, “we are going to a hot tub to chill, you are okay, wear that because I want to go in a hot tub with you”.

You see ladies your children need you to be this confident, daughters and sons alike. They never see you as fat or ugly or anything. To them you are the most beautiful woman in the world; yes even with every “flaw” you find. This confidence has been because of these “two and a half men” I’ve been given.

I see that abdomen and I think “Wow! If people only knew the history behind this body. The scars on my abdomen visible. The flabby skin. The dimples. The cellulite. If only they saw…wait why the hell do they have to see anything?! I am unapologetically me and my son thinks I’m beautiful”. So ladies/moms/grandmas it’s okay to have hesitation, but don’t hold yourself back. It is the best thing you can do for you, and the little people who look up to you and follow your lead.

By the way the hot tub was to full and my little love decided not to get in the pool, so needless to say this went on and came off dry. I love my Aspie ❤️

A lot of work has gone into not seeing this as fat, effort and energy are used to believe it. 4/15/2021 bathing suit put together by my 16yo.

3 thoughts on “A bikini

  1. I’m so amazed you put on a bikini you look
    Amazing in it girl!! Yes it’s very weird how our kids just see us as they see us not as fat not as a bad mom etc and for that we should always be greatful!! But wow I’m glad you overcame and put that on it’s like a victory in itself!!! Wish I could actually wear one but umm yeah that’s going to take quite few steps!! I wanna stick to my whole pieces for right now.. but you look great in it truly you do!!! I’m sorry the hot tub was filled though ughh but they maybe at another place you can use it!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The only step it takes is one…just do it. Get past what society says should wear a bikini and wear one. I mean if they don’t like it. They don’t have to look. And two you’ll teach your daughter how to just be herself at all stages and phases.

      Liked by 1 person

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