This Mountain

This mountain means so much in my life. It’s just a really special place with huge significance to me. Not only did my love propose to me up there, but I had to overcome some major fears to get up there.

I’m thankful for going up there now 3 times. I love it there. I can’t wait until the construction is done and I can drive all the way to the top. I know this every time I come down I feel like a new beginning in my life. I feel like I heal up there. I feel like this mountain helps me make molehills out of mountains in my life.

The first time I drove up I had my fiancé (he proposed up there a year ago) with me and I was almost in tears chanting, “Tears mean death! Tears mean death.” This time I had my oldest son with me and I had anxiety before I even got to the toll gate, but it went away after my love text me and we got closer to the gate.

On the way up we stopped to fish at mile 6.5 at the Crystal Creek Reservoir. I made it to the top afterwards. No anxiety. No fear. Just enjoyed it. I even was able to go inside the Summit and look around and do some birthday and Christmas shopping. I usually get sick in there.

I did it. I got to Colorado. I choose where we would fish. What activities we would do. What city we were going to sleep in. I drove to mile 16 and took the shuttle to the top again. I did it with no one holing my hand figuratively or literally. I conquered my biggest fear.

I also wanted this trip to Pike’s Peak to be symbolic of the closing of one chapter of my life and to the opening of a new one. This trip up was more than just a vacation, it was a real test of growth. I had to make decisions with no guidance. I had to navigate my way through some pretty scary incidents that lead me to being literally lost without GPS in the middle of nowhere Colorado.

I did it. I did it on my own. My son right there beside me along for the ride, sleeping most of the time. I did it though. I am so glad I did. I am looking forward to my future again and I am trying to do as much reality therapy as possible. You never know I may walk through some with you.

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