I prayed to be a mom of boys. I knew God would bless me with a family built of love not blood. It’s truly the highest honor a woman can have; to be trusted to love a child she didn’t carry. I knew I had the energy for the activity level and the adventurous spirit (even though a fearful spirit as well). I begged for all of it. Every last trial that moms of boys typically fear. Not me I longed for it.
God answered with me with “many sons” through fostering and legally I have adopted two. Why am I telling you this, it’s because moms there is a specific way you need to love your sons. It’s not hard really. It is so easy. You’ve asked my secret to raising these two amazing young men that I have, despite all the challenges in my personal life. Well here it is…
Be in love with them. Be in love with them the way you want a young lady to be in love with them some day. You know that love you imagine for him, be it first, because if you are you’ll never be disappointed.
Show him how to love a lady by loving him the way she should. Spend 17+ hours driving to just to see him fish in the Rocky Mountains before he starts his senior year and welding program. You’ll show him that his wife should drive 17+ hours with him and sit by a lake or drive up a mountain to a reservoir just to sit for hours in anticipation of that catch and release fish that never comes to be.
Then he’ll love her so much better. He’ll amaze you with how much he loves not just another woman, but you. He will treat you like you are the queen of the world, he’s your prince looking for his princess. Be the queen set the path to a happy healthy life and home for your son, your “daughter-in-love” (thank you Duggar’s for this wording), and your grandkids. I
One day you pull up to one of their jobs and see them pushing a line of carts and he looks back and smiles and somehow you just know he’s smiling under that mask and glasses, and you put it there. Love him in a way that makes him happy to be in your home, not want to run from it.
Moms did you know that your sons are just as sensitive as your daughters? Embrace that. Teach them to be okay in those moments of weakness just like you would your daughters.
Make sure you love them in a way that they are confident and sure of themselves. Make yourself their safe place. Don’t criticize them and cut them at the core of who they are. Remember my philosophy of ‘there are no bad kids just bad parenting’ well your son will be attracted to what you show him. Be the woman you want him to be with some day.
Show him that it’s okay to talk to you. Show him that it’s okay to trust you and other women. Embrace his ego. Embrace all the flaws and make him feel like he can conquer anything in life. Show him it’s okay to cry and off that shoulder and a loving embrace.
I know that how I love my sons. I have always thought if I want them to be loved this way by another woman some day then o have to show them what it is they should be looking for. Be the woman who you want her to be for him.