Choosing to leave toxic people behind once and for all, for the continued betterment of myself isn’t easy.
Finally allowing myself to grieve and feel it, really feel it is the exact thing I need.
It’s okay to walk away from the people who have hurt me and continue to do so.
It’s okay to walk away from the ones who deny me my memories.
It’s okay to be free from that life.
It doesn’t mean it is easy. It’s most definitely not easy and it takes a lot of work.
Just because they made me or raised me doesn’t mean I owe them anything.
They owed me a life that was safe and free of harm. They owed me food and shelter. They owed me everything, not the other way around.
They chose to give me life not because I asked them too, but because they wanted to.
There’s an old saying, “What goes around comes around”, that was thrown at me a lot as well as, “it’s your job to take care of us when we are older.” One of those sayings is true and it isn’t the later.
“What goes around comes around”, on the other hand is true. If you treat your kids badly it will definitely come back to you. Love them in a way that makes them want to be in your life even when they aren’t legally obligated to.
Don’t ridicule, abuse, use, or hurt them in any other way. Love them. Nurture them. Encourage and support them. Let them be them. Guide and educate them.
Let your girls be girls. Let your boys be boys. If they choose to be the other, then let that happen too. It’s okay. All you’re commanded to do is love unconditionally. That’s it. Not change. Not “fix” to what you think is acceptable.
It will be scary as fuck! Because
One day someone might come along who loves them way more than the people who should have loved them were ever capable of doing. Once this happened for me I learned to say, “No more! Enough is enough!” Now it’s just me an my fiancé and our sons.
I’m way better off now. ❤️